‘Things I wish someone had told me when I first started playing’ – part 3

You don’t know until you try, by Miss Pixie

Before I entered the BDSM scene, I identified as a dominant. All of my fantasies revolved around dominating other people, and all of my interest was in learning to induce submission and inflict pain. I had been in a relationship previously where I was never really able to explore my dominant side, so I was thrilled when I finally got to start making some of my fantasies a reality.

Fast forward to five years later, and I am in a loving long term D/s relationship – as the submissive.

While I still enjoy inflicting pain and I will always have a sadistic streak, I find the role of dominant to be too demanding for me to really enjoy. And while I used to fantasise endlessly about threesomes and foursomes, when I finally got to try it, I found splitting my attention between multiple people to be distracting and unfulfilling.

What we enjoy shifts and changes over time. And often you will have a plan in your head that you can’t wait to try, only to find that the reality is completely different. The only way to know what you like is to experience it – so get out there and try as many new things as you can. Wonderful surprises await!

Please leave a comment and share a little of your journey with us, we would love to hear from you.

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Miss Pixie and Stuniverse


About Miss Pixie

Ms Pixie is a woman of many talents. As well as assisting with the running of Ethical Kink, she also runs a separate business practicing as a queer friendly, kink aware health professional. A vegetarian for over 13 years, she made the journey from animal welfare to animal rights via her interest in feminism, kink and body modification. Ms Pixie assists with ethical issues, business planning and writes regularly for the Ethical Kink blog. She is also the full time partner and submissive of Stuniverse. When she isn’t working she enjoys playing guitar, dancing and fire twirling. She also makes a mean vegan lentil pot pie ;)
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